Date night

It's been a couple of months since Kenadie was born, and the wife and I have done little if anything for ourselves. I try to get a few moments of gaming and watching movies in ten minute increments in, but I haven't really spent any quality time with the wife other than watching bad sitcoms and taking care of the wee one at some unholy hour.

It was time to indulge ourselves, and indulge we did. We went to a premier steak house and ordered accordingly, along with some real crab cake that wasn't fried. It was a mountain of crab in some lobster sauce. We partook in the best cheesecake I've ever had, light and fluffy, with butterscotch dripping off of it and flavored with pralines.

Watching my wife consume an alcoholic drink was a treat. This is a woman who hasn't really drank in almost a year, for obvious reasons, and she ordered an extra dirty vodka martini, straight up. She was buzzed about halfway through it. I drank the same, the first martini I've had in months, and it was a pleasure to revisit one of my favorite cocktails. Of course I had to order a bloody Caesar as well.

After consuming what seemed like seventeen thousand calories, we still would've done it again in a heartbeat as it was one of the best, if not the best, meals we've ever had. As much fun as we had having some time to ourselves, we couldn't help but miss Kenadie. We were only gone for a couple of hours, but it seemed weird seeing an empty car base for her seat when we drove to pick her back up.

The wife and I went inside my mother in-law's to pick up the baby, only to find she slept through the entirety of our meal. We probably could've taken her after all, but it's a crap shoot as to whether she'll be hungry or not. It may not have been a good idea considering all the smells in that joint might have made her hungry, and she's opposed to us eating a hot meal. Oh and she's a baby, so she poops a lot.

Even though the meal was excellent and the company even more so, I can't say I let myself enjoy a lot of it with Kenadie not being present. I guess this is parenthood.

"Being a father, well, I don't know if this is a change, but it makes me want to get out of here faster. Get off the clock. Just 'cause the baby is my reason for living, my reason for coming to work."  - Richard Dean Anderson

Challenge Accepted, Wife edition

As you all have seen, Erik posted a blog listing 52 reasons why he loves me.  Here are my 52 reasons why I love Erik.  We thought this would be a great way to have this documented for Kenadie to read one day about her parents. 


1. The way you smile at me when I sing and act goofy.

2. The way you take care of Kenadie

3. When you kiss me on my forehead

4. Your Cajun lasagna

5. Your love for star wars

6. How smart you are

7. How you will get me anything I want and not be bothered by it

8. I love how you love me even with all my faults

9. How sweet you are to the dogs

10. How great you are with my family

11. How you are so willing to go to the grocery store since I hate going

12. How you unload the dishwasher without being asked

13. The love I see in your eyes when you kiss Kenadie

14. How you can’t wait to have another baby

15. The fact that you are so good at writing

16. You are so sweet

17. You care about me so much

18. The fact that I can trust you completely

19. The fact that you will buy me endless bottles of water all while knowing that the water in the fridge is perfectly fine.

20. I love how you have started singing every commercial jingle with me

21. How you do the choo choo train with your arm..

22. How you share my love of food

23. How well we get along

24. You are sexy

25. You give great advice

26. You always do the right thing

27. You have an enormous heart

28. You know the lyrics to just about any song

29. You introduced peanut butter surprise to me

30. You still love me after having a baby

31. You listen to all my complaints

32. You still love me after watching my pregnant butt devour crab at the crab pot in Seattle

33. You speak “Kelly”

34. You have great hair

35. You work really hard to support our family

36. I love how you say “nose” and touch your nose to Kenadie’s

37. You are such a family man

38. I love how you watch tv with me and never complain

39. I love how we laugh with each other and sometimes at each other.

40. I love your love for good beer

41. I love that you show our love in front of others by telling me you love me in front of other people.

42. I love how you show me the utmost respect and respect for our relationship

43. You are so handsome

44. You are a true gentleman

45. You are a role model for other men and if we have a boy, he will want to be just like you.

46. I love how you love to cook

47. I love how you are always willing to try new things

48. How you keep me sane

49. How well you get along with my friends

50. Your love for movies and video games, but know when it is time to spend time with the family

51. Your never ending support

52. How you care for others and how you call me to always keep me in the loop



I love you babe!  Happy Valentine's Day!

Challenge accepted

My wife asked me yesterday if I could come up with 52 reasons why I love her. Of course I could, because I'm Erik and I can do anything. So here they are in no particular order:

1. The way she laughs at my jokes, no matter how corny they may be.
2. How she gives her half smile when I'm having a geek moment.
3. That she is the organizer in the house.
4. She always gives me the power of the remote.
5. Her casserole.
6. How good of a mother she is.
7. She gave me my daughter.
8. That she plans everything to the nine, and doesn't leave room for failure.
9. She bargain shops.
10. I don't have to always going shopping with her.
11. When we do shop together it's always fun.
12. She taught me how to make Frito pie.
13. Her values.
14. Her honesty.
15. She's sexy.
16. She's sexy even first thing in the morning.
17. Her loyalty to me, our daughter, her friends, and her family.
18. She taught me how to make perogies and sausage.
19. How she sings along with every silly commercial jingle.
20. How she takes such good care of our dogs.
21. How she let me be a part of the dog's life.
22. How she puts up with my skepticism.
23. She surprises me with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
24. She brings me Dasani Lime at work.
25. How I love seeing her first thing in the morning.
26. How she's as big a fan of sushi as I am.
27. She never lets me forget the details of anything.
28. She works hard for the money, so hard for it honey.
29. She loves me even at times when I don't deserve it.
30. She'll watch Pawn Stars with me.
31. She sat and had a drink at Redneck Heaven with me.
32. She doesn't make me watch Desperate Housewives.
33. She doesn't get pissy when I want to buy a Star Wars t-shirt.
34. She's ok with dressing my daughter in Star Wars onesies.
35. She understands that football is of utmost importance.
36. She humors me when I say stuff like I want to build a bedroom in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
37. She does a great job handling our social calendar.
38. She owns a gun.
39. She doesn't read Harry Potter or Twilight.
40. She puts Kenadie first above everything.
41. I get to manage the DVR.
42. She trusts me to watch the baby.
43. She doesn't complain when I go have guy time.
44. She was so easy to fall in love with.
45. She's smart as well as sexy.
46. She listens to me.
47. She taught me how to enjoy mac n cheese in various flavors.
48. She's frugal.
49. I trust her without question with our daughter.
50. How she makes our baby smile.
51. Seeing how good she is at changing diapers, as she may have to change mine in our later years.
52. She lets me change the radio station, so long as I don't tune to NPR.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." - A. A. Milne

According to the CDC this blog will give your kid gas

As a new parent the number one concern of mine is the health of my daughter. When looking up information about the health and welfare of children one can and will be bombarded with all kinds of misinformation. No better example of this is the nonsense surrounding the supposed dangers of vaccines.

Since Dr Andrew Wakefield's discredited study, and the promotion of such fraudulent findings by the likes of Jenny McCarthy, parents have been misinformed about the side effects of vaccines from autism to ring around the collar. Parents often associate changes in their child when they've had a vaccine, from the flu to some neurological disorder. Now if we lived in a world where causation does prove correlation, they would have a point, but we don't, and their point is misguided at best. Does reading this blog make you sexy? I'd like to think so, but sadly genetics play more of a role in that than The Wilson Family. The fact that only sexy people read this blog doesn't prove anything.

The fact of the matter is is that vaccines have been instrumental in eliminating horrible diseases, such as polio and small pox. The anti-vaccine folks deny this with the zeal of a religious fundamentalist, and there's really no arguing with them as they don't care about things like facts. They want to believe that big Pharma is out to kill your children, and they can white knight their kids as only they think they can. It makes them feel important, and a better parent, if they have an evil to fight against, real or imagined.

If you read the intellectually vapid articles from homeopaths, naturopaths, and other quack websites, you'll be called a fool, or worse, for wanting to protect your children from debilitating diseases in the only way science knows for sure how. New on the list of anti-vaccine folk is the HPV vaccine.

A friend of mine posted an article by Catherine Stack on Facebook (which seems to be the biggest outlet for the advancement of quackery), in which she denounces the HPV vaccine. Let's analyze the nosense shall we?

First she claims that the Gardasil vaccine, which is designed to protect those from HPV, is only designed to protect against four strands of HPV. Why that's important I don't know, nor care. Then she goes on to make an interesting point that getting regular pap smears can help fight against HPV, which I can't argue with. Then she hops aboard the crazy train:

Now, lets look at the high percent of injected young girls who have had serious and even life-threatening side effects from the Gardisil vaccine. According to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (medalerts.org), as of January 2010, there were more that 17,000 reports of adverse reactions to this vaccine and 59 deaths and 18 of these deaths were girls under 17. When you compare these numbers to women who are not vaccinated, it is absolutely safer to do nothing — just get your Pap smears!

First off, the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System, VAERS, is co-sponsered by the FDA and CDC, which naturopaths, such as Ms. Stack, see as the evil empire. To use the data of the enemy to back her claim is dripping with dramatic irony, but it gets even weirder. A simple search of VAERS finds that it's only a public reporting system and nothing else. That means if I think my child got a case of the farts from a vaccine, I report it to VAERS and they would publish my own unscientific findings. Hardly the stuff of hard science, and even VAERS admits it. A simple reading of VAERS FAQs will tell you that in no way should the data indicate that serious complications from vaccines exist until further study is complete.

So the VAERS system is in no way an accurate record of the side effects of vaccines, but Ms. Stack oddly goes to treat it as such. She states that 59 deaths have been caused by Gardasil, but looking closer at the data reported to VAERS, none of the deaths (actually 71 reported in this case) demonstrated any link to any vaccine. In face, only 34 of these reported deaths could be confirmed at all, and of those 34 there was no indication that the death was caused by Gardasil, and some even indicated that their demise was from another cause.

Ms. Stack goes on to fraudulently use that data to indicate girls get neurological disorders from Gardasil, which yes, some people have reported this to VAERS, but again no evidence backs this claim up. Even with the reports given, there rates of Guillain-Barré Syndrome is no higher among vaccinated people than unvaccinated.

Now if you're an anti-vaccine person, or someone who likes to believe big pharma is out to poison your dog food, you'll probably say something like "oh you just believe everything the FDA tells you." This is something I've heard many times and every time it's an unfair characterization. I believe in analyzing evidence to making important decisions about my child's health. If the evidence is backs up what the FDA, or anyone for that matter, claims, I'll believe it, if it's not, it can and should be easily dismissed. In the case of Ms. Stack, one can safely assume she's misrepresenting data to further her anti-vaccine cause. Whether she did it out of incompetence or if it was deliberate remains to be seen. I'd like to think she's just uneducated rather than someone who willingly puts out misinformation that puts others at risk, but I like to look on the bright side of things.

Now is Gardasil safe? According to the authorities on the matter we have no reason to believe otherwise, but I think some will want Gardasil to be unsafe, so they can gallop on their high horses fighting a fight that's unnecessary and can cause the uneducated to risk harm to their children.

I'll let Ms Stack have the last word, which should be telling:

"Cancer and many other diseases are not established in your body from lack of a pill or vaccine. How you eat, live and think makes you either an open door to disease or an unlikely candidate." - Catherine Stack

I'm a child care provider

Hey folks, husband here with some interesting news about your fatherness. According to the current US Census Bureau a man watching their kids is a babysitter. No seriously. According to their report, Who's Minding the Kids?,which is none of their damn business, but whatever, the mother is the primary parent and when she watches the kids it's called motherhood. Since God never intended a person without ovaries to care for crotch fruit, the Bureau considers it a child care arrangement.

This is fascinating to me, as we are in 2012 and I thought we're all about progressing towards equality, but since I'm a child care provider, can I garnish my wife's wages when she works on Sundays and I'm at home with Kenadie? Can I write off expenses that I use to care for her during those days? Does the Census Bureau consider child rearing only women's work and men are just there to drink beer, watch TV, make messes, and fart repeatedly?

See I'm a progressive sort and I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way...uhh...anyways why should anyone be considered the designated parent based on their gender is laughable, if not insulting. See in my household my wife sees me as her equal and trusts that I can take care of a child just as good as she can...you can stop laughing now.

Seriously, I wonder why the Census Bureau even needs to collect this data at all, or why they thought putting titles on a parent's gender was a good idea. What I don't understand is how this applies to gay couples. In the case of two men, are they both child care givers? Two women are both designated parents? Why can't they just call them parents and leave it at that?

“Regardless of how much families have changed over the last 50 years women are still primarily responsible for work in the home. We try to look at child care as more of a form of work support.” -Lynda Laughlin of the Census Bureau’s Fertility and Family Statistics Branch.

Is it worth it?

Sometimes when I talk in public or post about my daughter on my other blog or Facebook, I get that comment from the permanently childless person who feels it necessary to exclaim why they never want children. They vary from "I love being an uncle/aunt, but never want kids" or "Yeah, I love kids, but never want my own." I don't condemn those people as for many years I was that person, but I know what they really mean.

When someone says they don't want kids means they want to maintain the freedom to do things, which often times they never do. They say they want to travel, but never leave their state. They say they want to be able to date and sleep with anyone on a whim, when they usually just cry while they masturbate while Flogging Molly plays in the background. They want to bar hop till two in the morning, when they usually end up just staying home as their friends now have kids and don't have time or money to go out.

Now some have legitimate concerns, like they cynically look at the planet and think it's not a good environment for kids, which is something that's hard to argue, because it's subjective. Yet our parents decided to spawn children with the looming threat of nuclear annihilation hanging over them. Some say they can't afford kids, but that really means they don't want to give up their simple luxuries.

You know what? I'm ok with you not having kids. Whatever reason you don't want to slip out crotch fruit is a legitimate one. Really, it's cool. Don't spawn. The big difference between me of yesteryear and you is that I never felt the need to exclaim how dedicated I was to not reproducing when I was never asked my thoughts on the matter. Well maybe I have, but this is my blog and I'm going with the fact that I was the poster child of social graces. Yes parenting is hard, time and money consuming, and can cause stress between you and the person you decided to breed with, but those moments when you look down at your baby cradled in their mother's arms, and they look back at her with a smile, makes all the effort worth it.

So yeah, continue with your unsolicited lecturing masked as holier than thou preaching about how parents are throwing their life away. I've lead both lives, and I'm secure in my choices, as you should be.

"Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly, you blink and they're gone, and you have to spend the time with them now. But that's a joy." - Liam Neeson

A Few of My Favorite Things

Having a baby is hard work, but it is the most rewarding job I could ever have.  I love being a Mom and at times there are things that you can buy to make the job of being a Mom a little easier.  Here are some of my favorite things for baby that I couldn't live without:

1. Burp/Lap Pads-http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4086285

-These are the best things ever! They are washable (going green) We use them for every diaper change.  Since Kenadie is sleeping in our room still at night we are pretty tired and change her diaper on our bed.  Thank goodness for these little soaker uppers, they have saved us numerous times for having to strip our bed and wash the sheets in the middle of the night because of an accident that Kenadie has while changing her diaper.  They soak up an entire bladder full and don't leak through to the other side.  Another use for these is under their sheets.  We use them under the pack n play sheets and the crib sheets where her head will lay so when she spits up it won't ruin the mattress or pack n play pad underneath.  LOVE THESE!

2. Bottle Warmer-http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2403663
-This is a life saver.  It beats having to wait for the water to boil to put the bottle in to heat up or microwaving the milk, ( which I hear is bad anyway).  This little beauty is wonderful.  I simply fill this little measuring device that it comes with to the desired amount of water for the amount of milk in ounces that I have and put it in the warmer and put the bottle in and it steams the bottle and the milk comes out at the perfect temperature every time!  It takes approx 2 mins for a 4 ounce bottle to heat up.  Life save for in the middle of the night when your baby is up screaming and hungry and you are barely functioning. 

3.  Tommee Tippee Bottles-http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3918819

-These Bottles are awesome.  They are said to be as close to a mother's nipple as possible.  Kenadie took to these with ease.  They also have an anti colic valve that allows babies to feed more comfortably with less air and vacuum build up.  They are easier to wash than Dr. Browns.  It serves the same purpose as those but you don't have as many parts to wash like Dr. Browns.  Great in saving time with the ginormous amounts of bottles to be washed on a daily basis.  The shape of the bottle will make it easier for her to hold as she gets older too. 

4. Target Brand Diaper Rash Ointment-http://www.target.com/p/up-up-Zinc-Diaper-Rash-Ointment-4-oz/-/A-11454279
-Kenadie has only had 1 case of diaper rash and it was due to Thrush.  This stuff works better than Bordeaux's Butt Paste, Desitin, A&D Ointment, you name it.  It has 40% Zinc Oxide vs the other's who have only 16%.  This stuff is a little more tough to wipe off, but for the bad case of diaper rash, this stuff really works. 

5. Colic Calm- http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/search/search.jsp?searchTerm=colic+calm&QP=N%3D92%26Ntk%3DAll%26Nty%3D1%26Ne%3D14%26Ntx%3Dmode+matchallpartial%26Nr%3DOR%7B92%2COR%7B93%7D%2COR%7B90%7D%2COR%7B122%7D%7D%26searchType%3DsearchHome

-This stuff works.  I know there are people out there, my husband being one of them that don't believe in this stuff, being that it is classified as homeopathic.  I don't really have much of an opinion on that matter except that when Kenadie was going through a period of time where she was getting fussy just at night time around 6-7p.m.  Thankfully that has passed.  I wrote on facebook about her fussiness and a friend of mine told me to try Gripe Water or Colic Calm, that they really worked for her child.  I thought hey, if it will help I will try anything to not hear my precious angel cry and be upset.  I tried Mommy's Bliss Gripe Water first and it seemed to calm her down a little, but a few days later I went to CVS and picked up the Colic Calm.  It was a little bit more expensive ($20)  and this product is made with vegetable charcoal, so it is black in color and it will stain their clothes.  This works within 10-15 mins and Kenadie was calm and no longer upset. It must taste good too, she sucks it down right out of the syringe.  I thought it may be a fluke, so we tried it for a few nights and it hasn't failed us yet.  Also, this product claims to treat the hiccups.  It works well for this too.  Poor Kenadie hates the hiccups. CVS is the only place I have found it.  Walgreens and Walmart do not carry it.

6. Fisher Price Lullabys and Baby Einstein Lullaby CD's.  http://www.target.com

-Kenadie responds really well to music.  When she is upset, we put it on and it is the automatic soother.  I have tried these two CD's and they are great. 

7. Baby Einstein DVD's

-These are awesome.  At 6 weeks we started putting Kenadie in front of our living room TV in her swing and turned on the Baby Einstein DVD's.  She immediately was interested and started focusing in on it.  I think it is great for learning shapes, colors, animals etc. 

8. Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station-http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2756998

- This has come in handy so many times.  This is a little fold out changing station, so in those nasty public restrooms you don't have to put your baby on the dirty changing station provided where who knows what has been on it.  It wipes clean and has pockets for wipes and diaper rash ointment.  Great Buy!

9. Pampers Swaddlers Diapers- http://www.pampers.com/en_US/proddetail/id/900826

-I love these diapers, they keep her dry and they have the blue line indicator in sizes NB, 1 & 2 to let you know if they are wet.  We have tried the regular Pampers and they don't have the blue line. 

Since Kenadie is only 9 weeks this Friday, I have come across several things that I like.  These are just a few.  I am sure as time goes by and she gets older there will be several others that I will find and update everyone on them. 

I come close to destroying baby equipment

"Ohhh shit," I cried as I watched the stroller make it's unattended flight down my driveway. My heart skipped several beats before I bolted for it, but it ran into the street.

Let me back up. The wife and I were leaving the house with Kenadie, but as most parents are aware this is an ordeal worthy of an Orthodox ceremony. Careful detail is arranged each and every time, from checking the diaper bag 13 times to insure all items are present and accounted for, to making sure the baby is snug in their car seat. It's a painstaking process that must be undertaken each and every time, for the idea of leaving without something as simple as baby wipes seems a horrifying prospect.

This outing was no different than any other. I grabbed the stroller and the baby in her car seat and head into the garage without incident. I park the stroller next to the car, but thought against taking the time to set the brakes as I assumed the garage was level.

I put the baby in the back of the car and turn to see the stroller make it's way down my driveway. I guess the garage isn't as level as I once assumed. I cried out in terror, wondering if someone actually saw that and logically assumed a baby was occupying the stroller, and then reporting us to CPS. The stroller made it's way into the street with me running after it. It stopped on the curb on the other side and no damage was done thankfully, but it was horrifying none the less.


"Stroller: a wanderer; vagrant." - Dictionary.com